Living without any expectation from life

I have no expectations from life or the future.

I exist only at the moment.

Yes, there are things I love to do. I do plans. I’ve my passions but I’m not passionate about life. If I die tomorrow, I wouldn’t mind at all. To be or not to be are one and the same phenomenon. I’ve desires and -at the same time- I’ve no desires. I value life, and at the same time, I don’t value life at all. I am a soul woven from contradictions, perpetually at odds with myself. I don’t have control over anything, therefore I’m just flowing through.

If I succeed at things, I don’t feel happiness. If I fail at things, I don’t feel sadness. Because I know that there is no difference between them, just like life and death.

Life might end with a blink of an eye. So what are all these for? All the stress, all the effort, all the sadness, all the ambition? If life is fleeting and fragile, why do we exhaust ourselves with ambition? Is it worth it, or is it merely an illusion?

Everything is just one. In the grand scheme of things, everything merges into one. Life, death, joy, sorrow—they are all but threads of the same fabric.

O blind one, understand! This world and sky are but a play,
One day, they will merge and vanish away.
There is no sign, no trace of eternity,
Come, enjoy the moment, for everything is but a dream!

— Omar Khayyam