Acceptance of death as a path to peacefulness
"Joy in the smallest things comes to you only when you have accepted death" Carl Jung says.
Emil Cioran expressed similar sentiments in an interview in 1973.
These are profound observations and experiences. Throughout my life, I have always been in a state of acceptance of death. This acceptance doesn’t magically make me happy, but it is one of the key conditions for finding happiness in life. Because death means the end of everything, knowing that death is the end allows me to use this idea as a source of strength and resilience.
By accepting death, suicidal thoughts (though not necessarily "to commit suicide") have often provided me with a sense of relief. Because it means I have a choice, and everything is in my hands. I can end everything whenever I want. This sense of freedom has protected my mental health most of the time.
I am quite a nihilistic and pessimistic person, to be honest. But I cannot imagine another version of myself. I feed on pessimism and nihilism. For me, there is no reason not to be a pessimist or nihilist. Interestingly, these characteristics are what bring me peace. Many times, I have thought that I would not have this peace if I had not accepted death, embraced the idea of suicide, or been a pessimist or nihilist.